How to Face Failure & Rejection? Self Help Articles | March 31 Ryan Boyle College Jersey , 2007 Failure and rejection need not traumatise us if we know how to deal with them. They can prove to be blessings in disguise and can lead us to successes. So let us be bold to combat them for enriching our lives.
Jennie was tall, slim, good-looking, had lovely, long hair and was articulate and charming. So I just could not understand it when she withdrew from a beauty pageant being organised by our club. It was a contest I thought she would win hands down.
"Because I may not win," she said when I asked her why Nathan Nelson College Jersey , she was withdrawing. "I just couldn't face that failure, that rejection."
I was taken aback. Had she not heard the proverb about failure being the stepping stone to success? And why had she used the word rejection?
"Failure means rejection. For instance, if a participant isn't crowned beauty queen, it means that the judges have rejected that person," she explained. "And rejection is far too painful to tolerate!
Yes, rejection is painful and it does deal an often unbearable blow to our self-esteem. We remember each small rejection for years - often all through our lives. But Matt Hankins College Jersey , as it did in Jennie's case, fear of rejection often prevents us from taking chances and this could well prevent us from achieving our full potential.
But both failure and rejection need not traumatise us, if we know how to deal with them. They can be, if handled correctly, blessings in disguise and can lead us to successes we could have never achieved otherwise.
For this to happen, we have to learn to cope with failure and rejection. This requires some introspection and will-power Luke Empen College Jersey , but it is really something all of us can do.
Failure and rejection
Jennie had equated failure with rejection. But rejection is actually something personal while failure is not. Rejection is painful because we take it personally, but failure need not be painful if we don't take it personally.
The embarrassment factor
Most of us can actually face failure and even rejection quite well - as long as other people do not come to know about it! If we are reamed out by our boss in private, we may not mind too much. But if we were scolded before even one co-worker, there is no way we can console ourselves. This is because wondering what other people will say or think about the incident, facing their teasing us or even listening to them commiserating with us is humiliating and very, very painful.
But can't we deal with embarrassment? Yes Kristian Welch College Jersey , we can! Some people deal with it very easily by talking about the incident themselves and expressing their pain and anger to friends.
The healthy way of dealing with embarrassment is to laugh it away. If you make a fool of yourself in a public place, tell the story to people in a humorous way and laugh with them at yourself. Not only will you get over your embarrassment, you will also spread a lot of goodwill around.
Also, tell yourself that the embarrassment will remain only in your memory - not in the memories of other people. They do not really have the time to think or talk all that much about you!
Think before you act
Extreme reaction to failure and rejection can be read frequently in the newspapers when people commit suicide. Would any of these people have reacted as violently if they had waited a little before acting? No, the majority of them would not have. Wiser counsels would have prevailed. These people would have realised that they were not the only ones caught in such situations. They should have cooled down, thought the matter over James Daniels College Jersey , taken the advice of people they trusted. Then, they would have reacted very differently and would have tackled the situation with more maturity and a cool mind.
The lesson to be learnt then is to take time to react. You may find out that you were completely wrong in the conclusions you jumped to.
The real reason behind the rejection
Whenever you feel that a friend has rejected you, introspect about the "rejection" and you might come to some surprising conclusions. These actually tell you that you have been rejected not because you are not good enough, but because you are too good! Or, it may be something quite unconnected with you.
Pain and the closeness of the relationship
When Amy became involved in her new and exciting job, she didn't have any time for her friend Fiona. Thus Fiona felt rejected and hurt. But after a few months Ike Boettger College Jersey , Amy came on one of her now-rare visits. She began to pour out details of what she had been doing at work - the new friends she had made, the new shows she had seen, the places she had visited, etc.
Fiona realised that Amy hadn't changed, she had just moved on with her life while she herself had just stayed put. After they had both graduated, Amy had joined a Travel and Tourism course and then got a job after she had finished it. But Fiona had been content to just sit at home. So Henry Krieger-Coble College Jersey , Amy had not rejected her at all. She had just moved ahead and Fiona had been left behind!
Fiona's pain had been acute because of the closeness of her relationship with Amy. Yes, the closer the relationship, the greater the pain rejection brings.
Give yourself a treat
All of us need to feel comforted after a rejection, something which is basically a loss. Since as adults, we may not have anyone to comfort us, we can try and comfort ourselves and we can do it by giving ourselves a treat. Is there a necklace you have been wanting to buy yourself Geno Stone College Jersey , but have not bought because both your birthday and Christmas are still months away and it seems a waste of money? Well, if you are disappointed because you didn't get the promotion you expected, go and buy it and wear it right
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